ACT II. SCENE 1.  Before PAGE'S house  Enter MISTRESS PAGE, with a letter    MRS. PAGE. What! have I scap'd love-letters in the holiday-time     of my beauty, and am I now a subject for them? Let     me see.                                              [Reads]     'Ask me no reason why I love you; for though Love use     Reason for his precisian, he admits him not for his counsellor.     You are not young, no more am I; go to, then, there's     sympathy. You are merry, so am I; ha! ha! then there's     more sympathy. You love sack, and so do I; would you     desire better sympathy? Let it suffice thee, Mistress Page     at the least, if the love of soldier can suffice-that I love     thee. I will not say, Pity me: 'tis not a soldier-like phrase;     but I say, Love me. By me,     Thine own true knight,     By day or night,     Or any kind of light,     With all his might,     For thee to fight,     JOHN FALSTAFF.'     What a Herod of Jewry is this! O wicked, wicked world!     One that is well-nigh worn to pieces with age to show     himself a young gallant! What an unweighed behaviour     hath this Flemish drunkard pick'd-with the devil's name!     -out of my conversation, that he dares in this manner     assay me? Why, he hath not been thrice in my company!     What should I say to him? I was then frugal of my mirth.     Heaven forgive me! Why, I'll exhibit a bill in the parliament     for the putting down of men. How shall I be     reveng'd on him? for reveng'd I will be, as sure as his guts     are made of puddings.                         Enter MISTRESS FORD    MRS. FORD. Mistress Page! trust me, I was going to your     house.   MRS. PAGE. And, trust me, I was coming to you. You look     very ill.   MRS. FORD. Nay, I'll ne'er believe that; I have to show to     the contrary.   MRS. PAGE. Faith, but you do, in my mind.   MRS. FORD. Well, I do, then; yet, I say, I could show you to     the contrary. O Mistress Page, give me some counsel.   MRS. PAGE. What's the matter, woman?   MRS. FORD. O woman, if it were not for one trifling respect,     I could come to such honour!   MRS. PAGE. Hang the trifle, woman; take the honour. What     is it? Dispense with trifles; what is it?   MRS. FORD. If I would but go to hell for an eternal moment     or so, I could be knighted.   MRS. PAGE. What? Thou liest. Sir Alice Ford! These knights     will hack; and so thou shouldst not alter the article of thy     gentry.   MRS. FORD. We burn daylight. Here, read, read; perceive     how I might be knighted. I shall think the worse of fat     men as long as I have an eye to make difference of men's     liking. And yet he would not swear; prais'd women's     modesty, and gave such orderly and well-behaved reproof     to all uncomeliness that I would have sworn his disposition     would have gone to the truth of his words; but they do no     more adhere and keep place together than the Hundredth     Psalm to the tune of 'Greensleeves.' What tempest, I trow,     threw this whale, with so many tuns of oil in his belly,     ashore at Windsor? How shall I be revenged on him? I     think the best way were to entertain him with hope, till     the wicked fire of lust have melted him in his own grease.     Did you ever hear the like?   MRS. PAGE. Letter for letter, but that the name of Page and     Ford differs. To thy great comfort in this mystery of ill     opinions, here's the twin-brother of thy letter; but let thine     inherit first, for, I protest, mine never shall. I warrant he     hath a thousand of these letters, writ with blank space for     different names-sure, more!-and these are of the second     edition. He will print them, out of doubt; for he cares not     what he puts into the press when he would put us two. I     had rather be a giantess and lie under Mount Pelion. Well,     I will find you twenty lascivious turtles ere one chaste     man.   MRS. FORD. Why, this is the very same; the very hand, the     very words. What doth he think of us?   MRS. PAGE. Nay, I know not; it makes me almost ready to     wrangle with mine own honesty. I'll entertain myself like     one that I am not acquainted withal; for, sure, unless he     know some strain in me that I know not myself, he would     never have boarded me in this fury.   MRS. FORD. 'Boarding' call you it? I'll be sure to keep him     above deck.   MRS. PAGE. So will I; if he come under my hatches, I'll never     to sea again. Let's be reveng'd on him; let's appoint him a     meeting, give him a show of comfort in his suit, and lead     him on with a fine-baited delay, till he hath pawn'd his     horses to mine host of the Garter.   MRS. FORD. Nay, I will consent to act any villainy against     him that may not sully the chariness of our honesty. O     that my husband saw this letter! It would give eternal food     to his jealousy.   MRS. PAGE. Why, look where he comes; and my good man     too; he's as far from jealousy as I am from giving him     cause; and that, I hope, is an unmeasurable distance.   MRS. FORD. You are the happier woman.   MRS. PAGE. Let's consult together against this greasy knight.     Come hither.                                   [They retire]             Enter FORD with PISTOL, and PAGE with Nym    FORD. Well, I hope it be not so.   PISTOL. Hope is a curtal dog in some affairs.     Sir John affects thy wife.   FORD. Why, sir, my wife is not young.   PISTOL. He woos both high and low, both rich and poor,     Both young and old, one with another, Ford;     He loves the gallimaufry. Ford, perpend.   FORD. Love my wife!   PISTOL. With liver burning hot. Prevent, or go thou,     Like Sir Actaeon he, with Ringwood at thy heels.     O, odious is the name!   FORD. What name, sir?   PISTOL. The horn, I say. Farewell.     Take heed, have open eye, for thieves do foot by night;     Take heed, ere summer comes, or cuckoo birds do sing.     Away, Sir Corporal Nym.     Believe it, Page; he speaks sense.               Exit PISTOL   FORD.  [Aside]  I will be patient; I will find out this.   NYM.  [To PAGE]  And this is true; I like not the humour of     lying. He hath wronged me in some humours; I should     have borne the humour'd letter to her; but I have a sword,     and it shall bite upon my necessity. He loves your wife;     there's the short and the long.     My name is Corporal Nym; I speak, and I avouch;     'Tis true. My name is Nym, and Falstaff loves your wife.     Adieu! I love not the humour of bread and cheese; and     there's the humour of it. Adieu.                    Exit Nym   PAGE. 'The humour of it,' quoth 'a! Here's a fellow frights     English out of his wits.   FORD. I will seek out Falstaff.   PAGE. I never heard such a drawling, affecting rogue.   FORD. If I do find it-well.   PAGE. I will not believe such a Cataian though the priest o'     th' town commended him for a true man.   FORD. 'Twas a good sensible fellow. Well.               MISTRESS PAGE and MISTRESS FORD come forward    PAGE. How now, Meg!   MRS. PAGE. Whither go you, George? Hark you.   MRS. FORD. How now, sweet Frank, why art thou melancholy?   FORD. I melancholy! I am not melancholy. Get you home;     go.   MRS. FORD. Faith, thou hast some crotchets in thy head now.     Will you go, Mistress Page?                       Enter MISTRESS QUICKLY    MRS. PAGE. Have with you. You'll come to dinner, George?     [Aside to MRS. FORD]  Look who comes yonder; she shall     be our messenger to this paltry knight.   MRS. FORD.  [Aside to MRS. PAGE]  Trust me, I thought on     her; she'll fit it.   MRS. PAGE. You are come to see my daughter Anne?   QUICKLY. Ay, forsooth; and, I pray, how does good Mistress Anne?   MRS. PAGE. Go in with us and see; we have an hour's talk     with you.           Exeunt MISTRESS PAGE, MISTRESS FORD, and                                                 MISTRESS QUICKLY   PAGE. How now, Master Ford!   FORD. You heard what this knave told me, did you not?   PAGE. Yes; and you heard what the other told me?   FORD. Do you think there is truth in them?   PAGE. Hang 'em, slaves! I do not think the knight would offer it;     but these that accuse him in his intent towards our     wives are a yoke of his discarded men; very rogues, now     they be out of service.   FORD. Were they his men?   PAGE. Marry, were they.   FORD. I like it never the better for that. Does he lie at the     Garter?   PAGE. Ay, marry, does he. If he should intend this voyage     toward my wife, I would turn her loose to him; and what     he gets more of her than sharp words, let it lie on my head.   FORD. I do not misdoubt my wife; but I would be loath to     turn them together. A man may be too confident. I would     have nothing lie on my head. I cannot be thus satisfied.                             Enter HOST    PAGE. Look where my ranting host of the Garter comes.     There is either liquor in his pate or money in his purse     when he looks so merrily. How now, mine host!   HOST. How now, bully rook! Thou'rt a gentleman.  [To     SHALLOW following]  Cavaleiro Justice, I say.                           Enter SHALLOW    SHALLOW. I follow, mine host, I follow. Good even and     twenty, good Master Page! Master Page, will you go with     us? We have sport in hand.   HOST. Tell him, Cavaleiro Justice; tell him, bully rook.   SHALLOW. Sir, there is a fray to be fought between Sir Hugh     the Welsh priest and Caius the French doctor.   FORD. Good mine host o' th' Garter, a word with you.   HOST. What say'st thou, my bully rook?         [They go aside]   SHALLOW.  [To PAGE] Will you go with us to behold it? My     merry host hath had the measuring of their weapons; and,     I think, hath appointed them contrary places; for, believe     me, I hear the parson is no jester. Hark, I will tell you     what our sport shall be.               [They converse apart]   HOST. Hast thou no suit against my knight, my guest-cavaleiro.   FORD. None, I protest; but I'll give you a pottle of burnt     sack to give me recourse to him, and tell him my name is     Brook-only for a jest.   HOST. My hand, bully; thou shalt have egress and regress-     said I well?-and thy name shall be Brook. It is a merry     knight. Will you go, Mynheers?   SHALLOW. Have with you, mine host.   PAGE. I have heard the Frenchman hath good skill in his     rapier.   SHALLOW. Tut, sir, I could have told you more. In these     times you stand on distance, your passes, stoccadoes, and     I know not what. 'Tis the heart, Master Page; 'tis here,     'tis here. I have seen the time with my long sword I would     have made you four tall fellows skip like rats.   HOST. Here, boys, here, here! Shall we wag?   PAGE. Have with you. I had rather hear them scold than     fight.                                   Exeunt all but FORD   FORD. Though Page be a secure fool, and stands so firmly on     his wife's frailty, yet I cannot put off my opinion so     easily. She was in his company at Page's house, and what     they made there I know not. Well, I will look further into     't, and I have a disguise to sound Falstaff. If I find her     honest, I lose not my labour; if she be otherwise, 'tis labour     well bestowed.                                          Exit     SCENE 2.  A room in the Garter Inn  Enter FALSTAFF and PISTOL    FALSTAFF. I will not lend thee a penny.   PISTOL. I will retort the sum in equipage.   FALSTAFF. Not a penny.   PISTOL. Why, then the world's mine oyster. Which I with     sword will open.   FALSTAFF. Not a penny. I have been content, sir, you should     lay my countenance to pawn. I have grated upon my good     friends for three reprieves for you and your coach-fellow,     Nym; or else you had look'd through the grate, like a     geminy of baboons. I am damn'd in hell for swearing to     gentlemen my friends you were good soldiers and tall fellows;     and when Mistress Bridget lost the handle of her fan,     I took 't upon mine honour thou hadst it not.   PISTOL. Didst not thou share? Hadst thou not fifteen pence?   FALSTAFF. Reason, you rogue, reason. Think'st thou I'll     endanger my soul gratis? At a word, hang no more about me,     I am no gibbet for you. Go-a short knife and a throng!-     to your manor of Pickt-hatch; go. You'll not bear a letter     for me, you rogue! You stand upon your honour! Why,     thou unconfinable baseness, it is as much as I can do to     keep the terms of my honour precise. I, I, I myself     sometimes, leaving the fear of God on the left hand, and hiding     mine honour in my necessity, am fain to shuffle, to hedge,     and to lurch; and yet you, rogue, will ensconce your rags,     your cat-a-mountain looks, your red-lattice phrases, and     your bold-beating oaths, under the shelter of your honour!     You will not do it, you!   PISTOL. I do relent; what would thou more of man?                            Enter ROBIN    ROBIN. Sir, here's a woman would speak with you.   FALSTAFF. Let her approach.                       Enter MISTRESS QUICKLY    QUICKLY. Give your worship good morrow.   FALSTAFF. Good morrow, good wife.   QUICKLY. Not so, an't please your worship.   FALSTAFF. Good maid, then.   QUICKLY. I'll be sworn;     As my mother was, the first hour I was born.   FALSTAFF. I do believe the swearer. What with me?   QUICKLY. Shall I vouchsafe your worship a word or two?   FALSTAFF. Two thousand, fair woman; and I'll vouchsafe     thee the hearing.   QUICKLY. There is one Mistress Ford, sir-I pray, come a little     nearer this ways. I myself dwell with Master Doctor     Caius.   FALSTAFF. Well, on: Mistress Ford, you say-   QUICKLY. Your worship says very true. I pray your worship     come a little nearer this ways.   FALSTAFF. I warrant thee nobody hears-mine own people,     mine own people.   QUICKLY. Are they so? God bless them, and make them his     servants!   FALSTAFF. Well; Mistress Ford, what of her?   QUICKLY. Why, sir, she's a good creature. Lord, Lord, your     worship's a wanton! Well, heaven forgive you, and all of     us, I pray.   FALSTAFF. Mistress Ford; come, Mistress Ford-   QUICKLY. Marry, this is the short and the long of it: you     have brought her into such a canaries as 'tis wonderful.     The best courtier of them all, when the court lay at Windsor,     could never have brought her to such a canary. Yet     there has been knights, and lords, and gentlemen, with     their coaches; I warrant you, coach after coach, letter after     letter, gift after gift; smelling so sweetly, all musk, and so     rushling, I warrant you, in silk and gold; and in such alligant     terms; and in such wine and sugar of the best and the     fairest, that would have won any woman's heart; and I     warrant you, they could never get an eye-wink of her.     I had myself twenty angels given me this morning; but I     defy all angels, in any such sort, as they say, but in the     way of honesty; and, I warrant you, they could never get     her so much as sip on a cup with the proudest of them all;     and yet there has been earls, nay, which is more,     pensioners; but, I warrant you, all is one with her.   FALSTAFF. But what says she to me? Be brief, my good she-     Mercury.   QUICKLY. Marry, she hath receiv'd your letter; for the     which she thanks you a thousand times; and she gives you     to notify that her husband will be absence from his house     between ten and eleven.   FALSTAFF. Ten and eleven?   QUICKLY. Ay, forsooth; and then you may come and see     the picture, she says, that you wot of. Master Ford, her     husband, will be from home. Alas, the sweet woman leads     an ill life with him! He's a very jealousy man; she leads a     very frampold life with him, good heart.   FALSTAFF. Ten and eleven. Woman, commend me to her; I     will not fail her.   QUICKLY. Why, you say well. But I have another messenger     to your worship. Mistress Page hath her hearty commendations     to you too; and let me tell you in your ear, she's as     fartuous a civil modest wife, and one, I tell you, that will     not miss you morning nor evening prayer, as any is in     Windsor, whoe'er be the other; and she bade me tell your     worship that her husband is seldom from home, but she     hopes there will come a time. I never knew a woman so     dote upon a man: surely I think you have charms, la! Yes,     in truth.   FALSTAFF. Not I, I assure thee; setting the attraction of my     good parts aside, I have no other charms.   QUICKLY. Blessing on your heart for 't!   FALSTAFF. But, I pray thee, tell me this: has Ford's wife and     Page's wife acquainted each other how they love me?   QUICKLY. That were a jest indeed! They have not so little     grace, I hope-that were a trick indeed! But Mistress Page     would desire you to send her your little page of all loves.     Her husband has a marvellous infection to the little page;     and truly Master Page is an honest man. Never a wife in     Windsor leads a better life than she does; do what she will,     say what she will, take all, pay all, go to bed when she     list, rise when she list, all is as she will; and truly she     deserves it; for if there be a kind woman in Windsor, she     is one. You must send her your page; no remedy.   FALSTAFF. Why, I will.   QUICKLY. Nay, but do so then; and, look you, he may come     and go between you both; and in any case have a     nay-word, that you may know one another's mind, and the boy     never need to understand any thing; for 'tis not good that     children should know any wickedness. Old folks, you     know, have discretion, as they say, and know the world.   FALSTAFF. Fare thee well; commend me to them both.     There's my purse; I am yet thy debtor. Boy, go along with     this woman.  [Exeunt QUICKLY and ROBIN]  This news     distracts me.   PISTOL.  [Aside]  This punk is one of Cupid's carriers;     Clap on more sails; pursue; up with your fights;     Give fire; she is my prize, or ocean whelm them all!    Exit   FALSTAFF. Say'st thou so, old Jack; go thy ways; I'll make     more of thy old body than I have done. Will they yet look     after thee? Wilt thou, after the expense of so much money,     be now a gainer? Good body, I thank thee. Let them say     'tis grossly done; so it be fairly done, no matter.                           Enter BARDOLPH    BARDOLPH. Sir John, there's one Master Brook below would     fain speak with you, and be acquainted with you; and hath     sent your worship a moming's draught of sack.   FALSTAFF. Brook is his name?   BARDOLPH. Ay, sir.   FALSTAFF. Call him in.  [Exit BARDOLPH]  Such Brooks are     welcome to me, that o'erflows such liquor. Ah, ha! Mistress     Ford and Mistress Page, have I encompass'd you? Go to;     via!                Re-enter BARDOLPH, with FORD disguised    FORD. Bless you, sir!   FALSTAFF. And you, sir! Would you speak with me?   FORD. I make bold to press with so little preparation upon     you.   FALSTAFF. You're welcome. What's your will? Give us leave,     drawer.                                        Exit BARDOLPH   FORD. Sir, I am a gentleman that have spent much; my name     is Brook.   FALSTAFF. Good Master Brook, I desire more acquaintance     of you.   FORD. Good Sir John, I sue for yours-not to charge you; for I     must let you understand I think myself in better plight for     a lender than you are; the which hath something     embold'ned me to this unseason'd intrusion; for they say, if     money go before, all ways do lie open.   FALSTAFF. Money is a good soldier, sir, and will on.   FORD. Troth, and I have a bag of money here troubles me; if     you will help to bear it, Sir John, take all, or half, for easing     me of the carriage.   FALSTAFF. Sir, I know not how I may deserve to be your     porter.   FORD. I will tell you, sir, if you will give me the hearing.   FALSTAFF. Speak, good Master Brook; I shall be glad to be     your servant.   FORD. Sir, I hear you are a scholar-I will be brief with you     -and you have been a man long known to me, though I     had never so good means as desire to make myself acquainted     with you. I shall discover a thing to you, wherein     I must very much lay open mine own imperfection; but,     good Sir John, as you have one eye upon my follies, as you     hear them unfolded, turn another into the register of your     own, that I may pass with a reproof the easier, sith you     yourself know how easy is it to be such an offender.   FALSTAFF. Very well, sir; proceed.   FORD. There is a gentlewoman in this town, her husband's     name is Ford.   FALSTAFF. Well, sir.   FORD. I have long lov'd her, and, I protest to you, bestowed     much on her; followed her with a doting observance;     engross'd opportunities to meet her; fee'd every slight occasion     that could but niggardly give me sight of her; not     only bought many presents to give her, but have given     largely to many to know what she would have given;     briefly, I have pursu'd her as love hath pursued me; which     hath been on the wing of all occasions. But whatsoever I     have merited, either in my mind or in my means, meed, I     am sure, I have received none, unless experience be a jewel;     that I have purchased at an infinite rate, and that hath     taught me to say this:     'Love like a shadow flies when substance love pursues;     Pursuing that that flies, and flying what pursues.'   FALSTAFF. Have you receiv'd no promise of satisfaction at     her hands?   FORD. Never.   FALSTAFF. Have you importun'd her to such a purpose?   FORD. Never.     FALSTAFF. Of what quality was your love, then?   FORD. Like a fair house built on another man's ground; so     that I have lost my edifice by mistaking the place where     erected it.   FALSTAFF. To what purpose have you unfolded this to me?   FORD. When I have told you that, I have told you all. Some     say that though she appear honest to me, yet in other     places she enlargeth her mirth so far that there is shrewd     construction made of her. Now, Sir John, here is the heart     of my purpose: you are a gentleman of excellent     breeding, admirable discourse, of great admittance, authentic in     your place and person, generally allow'd for your many     war-like, courtlike, and learned preparations.   FALSTAFF. O, sir!   FORD. Believe it, for you know it. There is money; spend it,     spend it; spend more; spend all I have; only give me so     much of your time in exchange of it as to lay an amiable     siege to the honesty of this Ford's wife; use your art of     wooing, win her to consent to you; if any man may, you     may as soon as any.     FALSTAFF. Would it apply well to the vehemency of your     affection, that I should win what you would enjoy?     Methinks you prescribe to yourself very preposterously.   FORD. O, understand my drift. She dwells so securely on the     excellency of her honour that the folly of my soul dares     not present itself; she is too bright to be look'd against.     Now, could I come to her with any detection in my hand,     my desires had instance and argument to commend themselves;     I could drive her then from the ward of her purity,     her reputation, her marriage vow, and a thousand other her     defences, which now are too too strongly embattl'd against     me. What say you to't, Sir John?   FALSTAFF. Master Brook, I will first make bold with your     money; next, give me your hand; and last, as I am a gentleman,     you shall, if you will, enjoy Ford's wife.   FORD. O good sir!   FALSTAFF. I say you shall.   FORD. Want no money, Sir John; you shall want none.   FALSTAFF. Want no Mistress Ford, Master Brook; you shall     want none. I shall be with her, I may tell you, by her own     appointment; even as you came in to me her assistant, or     go-between, parted from me; I say I shall be with her between     ten and eleven; for at that time the jealous rascally     knave, her husband, will be forth. Come you to me at     night; you shall know how I speed.   FORD. I am blest in your acquaintance. Do you know Ford,     Sir?   FALSTAFF. Hang him, poor cuckoldly knave! I know him     not; yet I wrong him to call him poor; they say the     jealous wittolly knave hath masses of money; for the which     his wife seems to me well-favour'd. I will use her as the     key of the cuckoldly rogue's coffer; and there's my harvest-home.   FORD. I would you knew Ford, sir, that you might avoid him     if you saw him.   FALSTAFF. Hang him, mechanical salt-butter rogue! I will     stare him out of his wits; I will awe him with my cudgel;     it shall hang like a meteor o'er the cuckold's horns. Master     Brook, thou shalt know I will predominate over the     peasant, and thou shalt lie with his wife. Come to me soon at     night. Ford's a knave, and I will aggravate his style; thou,     Master Brook, shalt know him for knave and cuckold.     Come to me soon at night.                               Exit   FORD. What a damn'd Epicurean rascal is this! My heart is     ready to crack with impatience. Who says this is improvident     jealousy? My wife hath sent to him; the hour is fix'd;     the match is made. Would any man have thought this? See     the hell of having a false woman! My bed shall be abus'd,     my coffers ransack'd, my reputation gnawn at; and I shall     not only receive this villainous wrong, but stand under the     adoption of abominable terms, and by him that does me     this wrong. Terms! names! Amaimon sounds well; Lucifer,     well; Barbason, well; yet they are devils' additions, the names     of fiends. But cuckold! Wittol! Cuckold! the devil himself     hath not such a name. Page is an ass, a secure ass; he will trust     his wife; he will not be jealous; I will rather trust a Fleming     with my butter, Parson Hugh the Welshman with my     cheese, an Irishman with my aqua-vitae bottle, or a thief to     walk my ambling gelding, than my wife with herself. Then     she plots, then she ruminates, then she devises; and what     they think in their hearts they may effect, they will break     their hearts but they will effect. God be prais'd for my     jealousy! Eleven o'clock the hour. I will prevent this, detect     my wife, be reveng'd on Falstaff, and laugh at Page.     I will about it; better three hours too soon than a minute     too late. Fie, fie, fie! cuckold! cuckold! cuckold!     Exit     SCENE 3.  A field near Windsor  Enter CAIUS and RUGBY    CAIUS. Jack Rugby!   RUGBY. Sir?   CAIUS. Vat is de clock, Jack?   RUGBY. 'Tis past the hour, sir, that Sir Hugh promis'd to     meet.   CAIUS. By gar, he has save his soul dat he is no come; he has     pray his Pible well dat he is no come; by gar, Jack Rugby,     he is dead already, if he be come.   RUGBY. He is wise, sir; he knew your worship would kill     him if he came.   CAIUS. By gar, de herring is no dead so as I vill kill him. Take     your rapier, Jack; I vill tell you how I vill kill him.   RUGBY. Alas, sir, I cannot fence!   CAIUS. Villainy, take your rapier.   RUGBY. Forbear; here's company.              Enter HOST, SHALLOW, SLENDER, and PAGE    HOST. Bless thee, bully doctor!   SHALLOW. Save you, Master Doctor Caius!   PAGE. Now, good Master Doctor!   SLENDER. Give you good morrow, sir.   CAIUS. Vat be all you, one, two, tree, four, come for?   HOST. To see thee fight, to see thee foin, to see thee traverse;     to see thee here, to see thee there; to see thee pass thy     punto, thy stock, thy reverse, thy distance, thy montant.     Is he dead, my Ethiopian? Is he dead, my Francisco? Ha,     bully! What says my Aesculapius? my Galen? my heart     of elder? Ha! is he dead, bully stale? Is he dead?   CAIUS. By gar, he is de coward Jack priest of de world; he is     not show his face.   HOST. Thou art a Castalion-King-Urinal. Hector of Greece,     my boy!   CAIUS. I pray you, bear witness that me have stay six or     seven, two tree hours for him, and he is no come.   SHALLOW. He is the wiser man, Master Doctor: he is a curer     of souls, and you a curer of bodies; if you should fight,     you go against the hair of your professions. Is it not true,     Master Page?   PAGE. Master Shallow, you have yourself been a great fighter,     though now a man of peace.   SHALLOW. Bodykins, Master Page, though I now be old, and     of the peace, if I see a sword out, my finger itches to make     one. Though we are justices, and doctors, and churchmen,     Master Page, we have some salt of our youth in us; we are     the sons of women, Master Page.   PAGE. 'Tis true, Master Shallow.   SHALLOW. It will be found so, Master Page. Master Doctor   CAIUS, I come to fetch you home. I am sworn of the peace;     you have show'd yourself a wise physician, and Sir Hugh     hath shown himself a wise and patient churchman. You     must go with me, Master Doctor.   HOST. Pardon, Guest Justice. A word, Mounseur Mockwater.   CAIUS. Mock-vater! Vat is dat?   HOST. Mockwater, in our English tongue, is valour, bully.   CAIUS. By gar, then I have as much mockvater as de Englishman.     Scurvy jack-dog priest! By gar, me vill cut his ears.   HOST. He will clapper-claw thee tightly, bully.   CAIUS. Clapper-de-claw! Vat is dat?   HOST. That is, he will make thee amends.   CAIUS. By gar, me do look he shall clapper-de-claw me; for,     by gar, me vill have it.   HOST. And I will provoke him to't, or let him wag.   CAIUS. Me tank you for dat.   HOST. And, moreover, bully-but first:  [Aside to the others]     Master Guest, and Master Page, and eke Cavaleiro Slender,     go you through the town to Frogmore.   PAGE.  [Aside]  Sir Hugh is there, is he?   HOST.  [Aside]  He is there. See what humour he is in; and     I will bring the doctor about by the fields. Will it do well?   SHALLOW.  [Aside]  We will do it.   PAGE, SHALLOW, and SLENDER. Adieu, good Master Doctor.                                Exeunt PAGE, SHALLOW, and SLENDER   CAIUS. By gar, me vill kill de priest; for he speak for a jack-     an-ape to Anne Page.   HOST. Let him die. Sheathe thy impatience; throw cold water     on thy choler; go about the fields with me through Frogmore;     I will bring thee where Mistress Anne Page is, at a a     farm-house, a-feasting; and thou shalt woo her. Cried     game! Said I well?   CAIUS. By gar, me dank you vor dat; by gar, I love you; and     I shall procure-a you de good guest, de earl, de knight, de     lords, de gentlemen, my patients.   HOST. For the which I will be thy adversary toward Anne     Page. Said I well?   CAIUS. By gar, 'tis good; vell said.   HOST. Let us wag, then.   CAIUS. Come at my heels, Jack Rugby.                    Exeunt